We're our own worst critics. That's probably why I sometimes take criticism so personally: because no one is harder on me than I already am. My house consistently looks like a fight broke out between a toddler and a dumpster; I look at my phone so much some days I wouldn't know the weather if no one posted about it on social media; and the last time I went out to eat, the server told me to enjoy my meal and I said "you, too" like a freaking idiot.
I'm a mess, guys.
I go to the scriptures for comfort, which works, but sometimes it's like, Jesus says "love thy neighbor" and the last time I talked to my neighbor I said "Hi Robert" and her name was Angela, or Jesus says "don't judge" but then I go into a public restroom and find the sinks hardly look used for how much pee there is on the floor, or Jesus says "don't get angry" and I did just that, I left an angry reaction on a Facebook advertisement for fake Lego last week and WHY AM I LIKE THIS?
I'm trying. But sometimes who I want to be seems so, so far away, like a playoff championship for the Utah Jazz.
Thankfully, the same God who gives commandments also says He created us in His own image. He says to be patient with ourselves and keep trying. He loves us perfectly, right now--not a distant version of ourselves, but the current one, the messy one, the one that sometimes picks fights with strangers in Youtube comment threads.
And I don't mean to diminish what He's told us to do or not do, because those things are important. But if you're struggling under the weight of expectations; if no matter what you do it's not enough; if you look into the mirror and see less a work in progress than a total screw-up; then hold on, put down Instagram for a minute, and breathe.
You don't have to do it all right now. What matters is your direction--not your speed.
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Peace by Piece
