Warped Plastic #11

Not that I'm against Black Friday shopping, but I have to appreciate the irony.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers! And may you have a safe, non-contentious Black Friday.

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Click to see Warped Plastic #10 and #12.

Warped Plastic #10

Ah, National Novel Writing Month. The most beautiful and terrible time of the year.

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Click to see Warped Plastic #9 and #11.

Calling Customer Service? 5 Things to Consider

I love working in customer service. I get to talk to lots of people all around the country every single day, and I've made some great connections. I feel like I'm doing something truly meaningful by serving my customers, and I love to help them.

But not everyone loves calling customer service. And sometimes, the experience leaves much to be desired--for both the customer and the service representative.

You can make it easier, though. For those moments when you have to make that call, here are five tips to help you have a better customer service experience:

Image credit: yobobie on Imgflip

1. Listen, Listen, Listen

I had a customer call in upset because she placed her order on a Friday, paid for 1-3 business day shipping, and didn't receive her package before Monday.

I promised her free shipping on her next order, because losing a customer over shipping is just stupid, and it was the best I could do to smooth things over.

Here's the thing, though: I know we gave her a realistic delivery date when she ordered over the phone, because that's a key element of every sales offer my company makes. And Monday is only the first business day after Friday. If she ordered on a Friday and had listened to the sales representative, she wouldn't have expected her package over the weekend. But she ended up disappointed.

Unfortunately, this kind of thing happens all the time.

If you're calling customer service, please listen to what they tell you. Chances are you'll save yourself a bad experience and another phone call.

2. Don't Let Your Issue Become an Emergency

In general, the customers I encounter who get the most upset over things like shipping and service times are the ones who procrastinated in the first place.

I get it. Sometimes things break. Sometimes the people you count on--yes, even the companies you pay for services--under-deliver. And you can't really plan on that happening. Legitimate emergencies happen.

But often, planning ahead is entirely possible. Know when you're moving? Don't wait to call the cable company. Don't know how to fix that leaky pipe? Call the plumber as soon as you notice it. Need your contact lenses in order to tell your child apart from a cactus? Order them before you run out.

Save yourself the stress. And save the service associate your stress, too.

3. We Don't Make the Prices

I didn't think there were so many of this kind of person out there, but every single day when I quote a price, I have more than one customer say, "Nope, I'm not gonna pay that," "I want free shipping," or "Wow, that's really expensive. Can I get a discount?"

And of course I say, "Oh, I'm sorry. Let me just change the price for you."

Except, wait, I don't.

If it were up to me, everything would be affordable to everyone, and the moment you ordered something it would poof onto your doorstep. Really. I'm on your side, here.

But this is not a perfect world, and I don't make the prices.

And I know you're used to getting free shipping with your Amazon Prime or whatever (which still costs money, by the way). But here in real life, you have to pay the people who bring you your package. Just like how decent people tip their waiter.

Trust me--I've worked for both UPS and a restaurant. If you don't pay those blessed souls, they will cut you.

Sure, discounts happen now and then. Coupons are a thing. My company even price matches. And under some conditions, you might even get free shipping.

But you'll be happier if you understand those are exceptions--not the rule.

I'll be the first to admit I cave in sometimes. Because, again, losing a sale over something like shipping? Stupid. But it just makes you sound like a spoiled child, and I guarantee I'm judging you while we're on the phone.

Image credit: QuickMeme

4. We Don't Possess Godlike Powers

Remember what I said about things poofing onto your doorstep?

Yeah. Some customers think I can do that.

As nice as it would be, I cannot make the Postal Service get to your house faster.

I cannot change my company's policies because they inconvenience you.

I cannot magically create a better rebate or promotion.

I wish I could, because I want to help you. I wish I could just say the words and whatever you needed would be done.

But customer service isn't God. As much as we dislike to say it, we have limits. If you're nice, though, we'll try to make it up to you.

5. We're People, Just Like You

Imagine your day. Your week. What are your passions? What are you going through? What do you want out of life? What have you done, and who do you love?

Your life is complex. You are more than just a voice on the phone.

So is the customer service representative.

One of my coworkers is expecting her first child. Another is an agented author, waiting for a publisher to buy her book.

We have lives outside the call center. We have sick kids at home, cars that need repairs, big plans for the weekend.

You may be frustrated. You may be in a hurry. But please, remember you're speaking to a person.

So be personable.

Image credit: Meme Guy

Most customers are a pleasure to help. Remember these tips, and you'll undoubtedly be one of them--every single time.

You may even get better service.