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| Maybe not quite as awesome as Jeffrey Pelletier's Lego room, but I'll take it. Image credit: Houzz on YouTube |
But you know, moving sucks. From digging up all the useless junk you’ve forgotten about in your closet (a Lego Mania Magazine from 1999? Sweet!), to hunting down everyone who needs your new address (I could call the power company, but my ancestors didn’t have to talk to anyone and they did just fine without electricity), to having all your friends and family find out you didn’t get rid of all that junk in your closet when they come to help you load your truck (sorry guys), the whole process is a nightmare.
And doing it with a chronic illness? Welcome to Hell, my friends.
I live with ankylosing spondylitis, a form of arthritis that fuses the spine and does a lot of other crazy stuff, too. If my disease were a novel, its elevator pitch would sound something like “A young man wakes up trapped inside an eighty-year-old’s body.” But tying my own shoes feels like a major accomplishment most days, too, so I’m also, like, five.
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| I'm also a skeleton! Image credit: His Perfect Timing |
One thing I do appreciate about my illness, at least, is the way it’s helped me learn to sympathize with other people's pain. I know how hard it is to carry on a daily routine when everything hurts, and that’s just the small stuff. A major life change--even a good one, like a new job, a new relationship, or, in my case, a new home--can easily send you into a tailspin.
But I’m here to help. Here are ten ways you can handle major life changes with a chronic illness:
1. Don’t skip your treatment
Before our move, my family and I spent a couple weeks on projects to get the new house ready. Even when messy things like paint or dust were in the day’s plans, I still showered every morning. Pointless? Maybe if the point was to get clean. But nothing loosens up my joints like fifteen minutes underneath a hot stream of water.
Whether you take pills or attend a yoga class, make the time to treat your illness. It may seem easier to skip your morning stretches, tea, or meditation when you have an extra hectic day ahead, but it will just be harder in the long run.
2. Pace yourself
Any major change in life requires lots of work. Even following a treatment plan, you can wear yourself out easily, and the extra stress can lead to flare-ups and other complications. If possible, give yourself time to slow down: relax with a book on your lunch break; set the wedding date far enough ahead to allow for less frantic preparation; pack a box or two each day several months before your move.
I started packing things in May and it still wasn’t early enough. If your situation will accommodate it, plan for a slower pace than you think you’ll need.
3. Eat well
Eating well does not mean eating a lot. If you have to push yourself so hard you miss a mealtime or two, at least get the right foods when you do eat. If possible, stick to the diet your body is used to (especially if you already eat healthy for your condition). My family doesn’t eat out too often anymore, so after a few days of greasy takeout during the move, my tired body thanked me when I finally had an apple. You can tell the difference, and so can your illness.
4. Drink water
This goes hand-in-hand with eating well, but it deserves its own spot on the list because it’s so dang important. Water aids in crucial things like digestion, circulation, and transportation of nutrients. It also lubricates the joints, which I especially appreciate. Your body is about sixty percent water, so if you want to feel more like yourself, drink more water!
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| Image credit: TheSquareComics |
5. Get some sleep
I get it: you’re in the middle of a major event in your life. On top of that, you’re treating your illness, making time to slow down, eating well, and drinking water. You’ll sleep when you’re dead, right?
Wrong.
Sleep is the body’s chance to heal. A good night’s sleep can boost your mood, strengthen your immune system, and even heighten your pain threshold (assuming you’re not already in too much pain to sleep--truly a vicious cycle). I guarantee it’s some of the most pleasant medicine you’ll ever take.
6. Keep your doctor in the loop
A change in life may call for a change in treatment. If you see a doctor for your illness, let him or her know what’s going on in your life and don’t hesitate to ask questions. And if your changing situation requires finding a new doctor, do it fast! I attribute much of my success as a missionary in Texas to finding myself a great rheumatologist almost as soon as I landed. You definitely want someone on your side who understands your condition on a professional level.
7. Don’t be afraid to ask for help . . .
Even without a disease, there’s no way I could have made my move on my own. With a disease, there’s no way I should have tried to do it on my own. The friends and family who helped me paint the house, replace electrical outlets, load the moving truck, watch the kids, clean the apartment, and even pack the stuff I couldn’t get to didn’t only save my sanity--they saved my health, too.
It’s okay if the changes in your life take a village to complete. If the people who help you didn’t love you, they probably wouldn’t help you anyway.
8. . . . but find ways to still be useful
I don’t have the words to express my gratitude to everyone who helped my family and me move into our new home. Our friends and family have truly gone above and beyond this summer, and I love them even more for it.
But tip 7 on this list is just as much for me as it is for anyone, because I always feel guilty asking for help. Especially when my arthritis flares up and sends me out of commission, it’s hard for me to feel good about myself when others are helping and I can’t work alongside them.
Finding other ways to be useful can help combat that guilt. For example, I got to help watch my niece while her mom painted bedrooms in my house. When we needed more paint or other supplies, I drove to Home Depot for it. Maybe I just contributed in small ways, but those things needed doing and I was able to do them. Finding those things makes it easier to ask for help without feeling guilty.
9. Focus on the good things that aren’t changing
A lot can change in only one event. A new home, for example, can also mean a new neighborhood, new friends, maybe even a new climate. It’s enough to throw anyone off, but getting used to all the changes can be especially troublesome to someone fighting chronic illness. Anchoring yourself to what hasn’t changed can help you keep your bearings as you navigate everything that’s new.
For example, our first night in the new house, we picked up Wendy’s for dinner and I pointed out that the food was still the same. Same chicken nuggets, same Frosty, same Junior Bacon Cheeseburger--we could still enjoy Wendy’s. In fact, we live close enough to our old place that we still visit the same Wendy's we used before. That’s just a small thing, but every little bit adds up. Many of the important things have remained the same, too, though; we still have our friends, our extended family, and each other.
I’ve adjusted to this new chapter in life much more easily as I’ve focused on those things. And that adjustment has made it easier for me to stick with my treatment, too, since I’m less distracted by what’s different.
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| Ahh, feels like home. Image credit: Wendy's |
10. Be kind to yourself
As my limitations grow, so does my tendency to get down on myself. It’s even easier to wallow in self-pity during a major life change. I felt bad making my in-laws paint my house. I felt bad making my neighbors clear my bookshelves. I felt bad making my friends clean my kitchen. Yes, they did it because they care; yes, I’m grateful for the help; and yes, if I ever needed anything again, I know without any doubt they would volunteer.
But I had the thought repeatedly throughout the moving process, “I am the worst person in the world.”
And it happens when people aren’t helping me move, too. I think it when I have to cancel plans because my daily fight with my disease has left me exhausted. I think it when I wake up stiff and make my family late for things. I think it when I hurt too much to get down on the floor and play with my kids.
Of course I know I’m not the worst person in the world. There have been worse people than me; Hitler comes to mind.
But it’s easy to think that when you’re sick. I know I’m not the only one.
Making changes in life is hard enough without beating yourself up. So be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that other people help you because they love you. Find things you can do with your disease and don’t let go of them. It’ll make not just whatever change you’re making easier, but everything that comes after, too.
Got any other tips for managing a chronic illness? Ideas to make life changes easier? Share them in the comments!
